When Update Notes Fail to Impress You

Things look grim for XI's future as all of its development team talent is busy breastfeeding XIV. I hope the WotG missions were finished before the transfer, because otherwise we might see some serious quality control issues. As the final version update news trickles in, I find myself, not excited with the content to come, but rather wanting to close my account. And that, my friends, is sad.

AF3 Armors:

Not nearly as exciting as Scars...

These are really hit or miss. Overall, it seems like SE is trying to facilitate a Kingdom Hearts crossover with the borderline-cartoony details of these armors. And of course, for DRK, WAR, and DRG, the armor is almost entirely re-textured.

I am a fan of PUP, WHM, COR and especially SMN. The Sherpa-style body matched with the snowy new Abyssea region is a very nice touch. Eyesores like SCH and RDM make me glad I don't play those jobs, and while everyone keeps toting how "badass" BLM looks, it looks like Mary Poppins to me, especially now that it floats.

What about BLU? I have mixed feelings here. The poofy, powder blue Jupon is absolute fail, but I do like the shawl and the metallic emblems. At any rate, it's a lot gayer than we were all expecting when we saw the badass Scars screenshot with Ebur Talar. Of course the real Ebur Talar is actually cream while BLU AF3 is pure white, so we're doomed to look like douches no matter what we do. I might just find myself trying to make Morrigan again.

Job-Specific Emotes:

What is with the porny music in this video?

I cannot believe this is a selling point of this version update. 

"We've hit an all time low... quested emotes and a blatant Naruto reference." 

That sums up the entire thing, because I fail to see how glowing blue wings are unique emotions that only Dragoons can express... I also can't wait to read "An issue with the job-specific emote /nin has been addressed" in the Emergency Maintenance notes.

If I don't see a legit "Walk of Echoes" non-Abyssean Endgame Zone and/or game-breaking Blue Magic to compensate for Tachi: Fudo and Saboteur, I know where my money is going.